Things I shake my head at.

I've noticed lately there have been some things I will encounter or think about and just shake my head in disbelief. I actually enter a zone of complete perplexity as to why people do the things they do or act the way they act, or even why some things exist and are available to people- even if it is the simplest of things. Anyway, I thought I'd share a list of those things, since I'm a little obsessed with lists. I wonder if anyone would agree with the items featured, or if I am in a class by myself.

• Fried ice cream. Is America that fat? Batter and ice cream aren't unhealthy enough seperately that one would actually have to take a hunk of fatty and sugary ice cream and deep fry it in oil made of saturated fat? I mean, come on.
• Dress-shirt Dresses. They are apparently the new trend. It is basically oversized mans' dress shirt, just longer and not as wide for women to wear. It doesn't look like a dress. It looks like an oversized mans' dress shirt, just longer and not as wide.
• Walnut-sized chocolate eggs at Teuscher Chocolate of Switzerland on Newbury Street that cost $3.50 per egg. A tiny piece of chocolate should not cost more than 50 cents. I do not care if it is Swiss. I care that I have to budget the rest of the day because I was craving chocolate and bought it because I assumed it would be 50 cents. That egg should have been wrapped in gold for that price, not cheap colored foil.
• People who are rude on the phone. Just because something did not go your way, why be a jerk to someone who probably had nothing to do with what you're aggravated about? Why not be polite and understanding instead?
• Obsessions with social networking sites. (Facebook, Twitter, Discussion boards, Myspace, etc.) Occasional use is fine! But excessive social networking=you're antisocial to the rest of the world outside of a COMPUTER. Your friends, your family, your co-workers, your spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend.
• People who walk at a snail-like pace when entering/exiting the MBTA. How about, move!? Don't you know that there are people like me who rush everywhere they go in order not to miss the next T to be able to get home 15-20 minutes earlier? May not sound like much, but after a day where at least 3 hours is spent in a commute of some sort, it means more than anyone can ever imagine.
• That it is only 3:48 P.M., and not 5:00 P.M.

Funniest book that isn't really a book.

I was recently complaining to Meg about how I think I am losing the cynical side to my personality. Yes, complaining about becoming less cynical. Not so normal. I think that being a cynic didn't make me miserable, I think it made me a realist. Let's face it--sometimes it's not easy to always look on the bright side. I wouldn't call myself a pessimist. I wouldn't call myself an optimist yet either. I think I'm somewhere in between now, but I still have to talk myself out of being too negative and too positive. I just want to be a realist again. 

I've been reading a book that is helping me get more in touch with my sarcastic self. And this book is FUNNY. Not your typical novel, by far. The book is a list of 11,002 things to be miserable about. In fact, that is its actual title. The book is literally just pages and pages of lists of random things in the universe to not be happy about. It's a good kick in the ass toward all of those happy-go-lucky inspirational books that are so full of crap that instead of making you feel grateful for things like meadows and daisies, make you feel miserable for books like that ever being published. Yikes, maybe I haven't lost my cynicism after all...

Anyway, here are a few of the many "things to be miserable about" that actually made me laugh out loud:

• The orchestra that played as the Titanic went down
• The existence of other people
• Birds that shit on you
• The British spelling of "colour"
• Richard Simmons
• Girls who think any guy who's not interested in them must have a disorder, probably Asperger's Syndrome
• The ten endless minutes before 4:50 P.M. and 5:00 P.M.
• The nonexistence of unicorns
• Michael Vick
• Caffeine-free Diet Coke 
• Children playing in puddles of blood
• Knowing when your friend from second grade goes to the grocery store, thanks to Facebook status updates
• The unlikelihood that the words "Lights! Camera! Action!" will ever happen to you

Those are just a few. This is going to take me awhile to read, because one can only read so many pages of lists. This book is full of humor and a lot of truth actually. I say buy it if you want a good laugh. I actually thought I was the only one who felt that miserable about Caffeine-free Diet Coke...

As quoted by my friend.

"I obviously was reading your blog before you even mentioned it... I have to agree that its a bit on the H-MO side, but very nice nevertheless. I have become far too cynical in my old age to have such lovely thoughts, but the fact that you do and that that was a classic "Jessica" blog post ... just gives me hope for the world in itself, you know? If people can still be so in love with love and everything that comes with it, even after all the various things that have happened in life that may have changed that outlook.... that has to be a good thing. Maybe I'll be that way again one day... the whole idea of mushy love makes my stomach turn lately. Just give me the wedding dress, booze, and cake.... and I'll go dance with my girls and skip the happily ever after part." -Megan Willette

Absolute wedded bliss.

This past weekend I attended my best friends' sister's (and also my friend) wedding reception. It was the first one I've been to since I was oh, about 8 when I was a flower girl in my aunt and uncle's wedding (now divorced.) WAH WAH.

In brighter news, Alyssa & Stan are perfect together and the reception was beautiful and they both looked just so incredibly happy. I am such a girl, I know. I have only seen Lara, one of my best friends & the maid of honor only look this happy when she has been A. spending time with her precious god-daughter and B. drunk off her ass dancing.

I have pictures.

bride & groom:

bride & MOH

me, Marisa & Sarah..... and me & joey

The bride & groom's song was "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Jem (originally by Paul McCartney) and was just perfect. I can't stop gushing about this. Alyssa was glowing and I am just so excited for her. The DJ also played "At Last" by Etta James, and because I am ridiculous I obviously teared up because as God as my witness that will be my wedding song whenever the day comes for me.

Such a fun time. It's just really nice to be around people who are happy and having good times and who all come together to celebrate something so important. It gives me hope that throughout all the drama and fighting and hate in the world, there are so many positive things like friendship, family, and love. Cue the doves flying & violins playing here.

To add onto it, my good friend Shannon is ENGAGED! Her boyfriend of a little over a year proposed to her this past Sunday, and the ring is gorgeous and the story is even better. They are so in love and perfect together, and seeing that just makes me happy. I am a huge fan of tradition & old-fashioned romance, and this couple just hits both on target. Here is a picture of the ring :)

I am so girly and sappy and in love with love. It's a little sickening at times, even I'll admit it. I am in no rush for all of this to happen to me, but would be lying if I said I don't think about the time that it will. Come on, every girl dreams of the day where she'll get to say "I do." Everything is just centered around the one thing that matters most--love.

You all can go respectively throw up now.

I aint never seen nothin' like a Galway girl.

Now that I have a passport and no actual job commitment after my internship ends at the end of August, I am becoming more into the idea of traveling. I obviously don't have the money right now, but I could keep saving until the end of summer. This passport has opened my eyes to all that could be out there for me to experience. Okay, so maybe I'm a little bored here in Massachusetts. And maybe I'm not being practical. But I'm 22, I have the rest of my life to be practical. I have never traveled outside of going to Florida or Canada because I never had a passport, never had the money, and school took up my free time. I'm done with school, and I still shouldn't be spending the money...but they have part-time jobs in other countries. I have always said Italy was my dream, and it still is... but more and more, I'm liking the idea of Ireland. I can speak the language and it's just so beautiful. I never knew how beautiful it was until I watched P.S. I Love You. This is where I want to go in Ireland: Galway. (Thank you Gerald Butler.)

Ridiculously gorgeous. Maybe I'm dreaming too big. Maybe this is just a phase. Maybe I'm just in a New England funk. But this just seems like an amazing experience, one that I wont get to have when I'm older and settled. I have trouble now remembering that I am only 22 and still young at heart. If I can save up the money and find a friend to go with for a few weeks, or even a month, I'm doing it.

Love/Hate you.com

I think I needed a little more inspirtation (or perhaps a little more free time at work?) to really get into this love/hate relationship I have with the Internet. I love the Internet for reasons such as getting to blog and therefore distracting myself for a few minutes from boring work. I also love the Internet because it is a simple click to news, finding out what my friends and family are up to via stalktools like Facebook, Twitter, and AIM, and endless information about anything I want. I am guilty of googling anything and everything to get a simple and quick answer to any question I may have. I also get to do fun things like post and edit my own pictures, laugh at funny videos like this, and email my super-cute boyfriend at work. Okay so it sounds like I have more feelings of love than hate, right?

I. hate. the. Internet.

I have learned that although it can be a social tool, it can make some people COMPLETELY anti-social. Call me crazy but I think instead of talking to a complete stranger in a chatroom, discussion board, gaming, or social-networking tool, it is far more important to maintain good relationships with the people you actually know. Spending half a day on Xbox Live or on Facebook isn't helping your social life; it's hurting it. Consuming your time with social-networking may help maintain digital relationships- which are important how? Sure, some tools like Twitter, Blogs, and LinkedIn can be helpful professionally...even so I care more about relationships with friends, family, and loved ones.

Here's a tip: Step away from the computer and go talk to someone who actually cares about you and will be there for you if you ever have a problem. It's far more rewarding than a good ol' LOL.

No News is Bad News.

Word on the street is The Boston Globe is shutting down. It's just crazy that because of today's economy the fear that newspapers would be obsolete is actually becoming a reality. More & more people (including me) get most of their news online. I'll even get the headlines from good old Matty in the Morning on Kiss 108 on the commute into the city on weekdays. Many radio stations aren't doing well either, and I blame this all on the Internet. Great as it is, it's ruining other outlets of media. I wonder what will still be around when I am my parents' age...

10 Most Endangered Newspapers in America

Most of these papers will still run their digital version...but just think of how many jobs that will cut. More spiel on the Internet later. I have a deep-set love/hate relationship.

Pensive post #1: Needing needs.

Dreary Day in Boston today. Here is the view outside my office window. I have a lot on my mind. Maybe I'll blame the weather, huh?

Today, while I had some free time at work, I got to thinking about needs. (Carrie Bradshaw, eat your heart out.) How come some people are perfectly content with everything the way it is- (whether it be with friends, jobs, relationships, possessions, etc) while others simply need more? Is needing more a character flaw or simply the way the human race works? There are things we all want, sure. (I'll take a new car, a year-round tan, and an entry-level job with a starting salary of $100k/year, thanks.) But those are things I don't need, I can surely live without them and lead a life full of happiness. So how come when needs so much smaller than big things like cars and cash are not met, we get upset? Enter my so-close-yet-so-far-away concept. The things we need are right there and they're more than attainable, but sometimes we just cant make them happen for ourselves. A challenging project at work, affection from our parents, an act of kindness from a loved one- these examples are all small but their significance speaks volumes. At the end of the day they help us feel successful, loved, thought about. And what's the harm in feeling good? Everyone needs to feel good, because feeling good is obviously better than feeling bad. It's not being needy. It's having needs.

Moral of the story: make your needs known and you might just get them met. "That's the thing about needs. Once you get them met, you don't need them anymore."-Sex & the City.

Next moral of the story: Jessica needs to stop watching Sex & the City.

Get Out Of Town

Need to get away? Me too. I just read this article that completely helps me justify spending as much money as I am on a fabulous (hopefully) all-inclusive resort vacation in Ocho Rios, Jamaica that I will leave for in June. Ya Mon, this girl is so excited & ready to leave the real world behind to relax, have fun adventures, and drink some tropical beverages with my man. I must find him some SPF 200+ for this event...yikes.

HERE IS THE ARTICLE. Awesome travel tips. I wish I traveled more/had the time & funds to go to so many places. Because the economy has fallen through the cracks of the earth, I am sure many of you are taking this opportunity to save, save, save. I haven't been to a mall in I can't even remember so long because I am saving for this trip & for other things, and that is quite saddening for me. So if you want to get out of town but are a few weeks away from lurking under a bridge with a Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup in your hand asking for change, here's what I got out of the article:

*"Though some people are skipping vacations altogether this year because of the miserable economy, others are plotting their getaways in spite of the dire times - or perhaps even because of them." FACT: Jessica should absolutely not be spending this much money on a vacation, because Jessica is an Intern and being paid a joke-amount of money/hr. for having her BACHERLOR'S DEGREE. She has zero permanent job lined up, and because this economy is the definition of FAIL, things do not look too promising. Not for awhile, anyway.

*"I think people are still finding ways to take a vacation," says Louise Reilly Sacco cofounder of The Frugal Yankee, an online newsletter. "I'm as thrifty as anyone, but if it gets to the point where you're cheap and you're ruining your life, it doesn't make sense. People need a break in their routine." FACT: Jessica desperately needs a break in her routine. Jamaica sounds like the perfect way to take that break.

The article touches on staying in hostels & house-swapping too, although my interest lacks in either.

Moral of the story: I probably shouldn't be spending all this money for this tropical paradise vacation. BUT...I don't care. I have never done anything like this before, and I am super excited.

Here is a pic. of the resort we'll be staying at, the RIU Ocho Rios! Can you blame me?

The Truth About Chick Flicks

Okay, I admit it. I love sappy, romantic, feel-good movies. You know this kind as the one and only: chick flick. I do believe that the chick flicks' initial intent is good. Woman meets man, they fall for each other, but oh no! Woman and man must overcome some obstacle such as (another woman/man, family issues, long distance, etc.) If and only if woman and man survive this tragic impediment in their love-fest can they prove to themselves and the rest of the world watching that YAY, there is such a thing as true love. And low and behold, woman and man fight the good fight and get past their differences and live happily ever after.
This all seems well and good, right? WRONG. I recently stumbled upon an article that sums up what chick flicks subtly teach women. And all of these lessons are bad, bad, bad ones.

Why Chick Flicks Hate Women

I read the list of reasons, and thought to myself: In the past, I was guilty of the first four out of seven. Sad but true. Presently, I do still believe in #2: Any problem can be solved by shopping. I can't help it. I am a girl who loves clothes. (Like every other one alive.) This I don't blame on chick flicks. This I blame on genetics and cute outfits in store windows.

The reasons I think chick flicks hate women differ from the reasons listed. I think they give women a false sense of reality. Come on- no man is like Hugh Grant. (Bummer, I know.) I watched chick flicks all my life and fell in love with so many stories. When I was a teenager, I dreamed of the day Richard Gere would arrive in my house hanging out of a limo roof with a dozen roses in his hand. I waited and waited for John Cusack to stand outside my window with a boombox, playing our song for my whole neighborhood to hear. I contemplating writing a bucket list so Shane West would make every single one of them come true.

I, admittedly, was an epic nerd-bag.

I think I am a little more in touch with what love is now that I actually have it. It is nothing like the movies, which is a very good thing because reality>fantasy. What we have is real and isn't scripted, and that is far better than any cupcake-sweet ending to a movie.

Sometimes, though, sometimes...I will watch my favorite movie and slip into what I call The Love Coma, where the simplest of scene will make my heart wrench and make me weep like a 3 year-old who got her toys taken away.

This is my favorite scene from any movie, ever. I'll warn you now- if you are female, you too could be love-coma crazy after watching this. I suggest watching an action movie or reading anything written by Tucker Max to wake you the F up.

The Man Laws...REMIX

So, I recently had a conversation with my charming but SUCH-a-boy boyfriend, and he enlightened me on the concept of something I had never heard of: a set of "rules" for men to follow called (originally enough) MAN LAWS. He told me a few of them, and I found them quite humorous (but mostly ridiculous), and it got me wondering. What exactly is this list of rules written by men for men to live by? I would hope that not all of them are taken seriously, but I know some of them are. I suppose this, like many things, is to be blamed on society. 

So anyway, being my curious self of what these "man laws" are, I googled. This is what I found:

Man Laws- Latest from the International Council of Man Laws (you can laugh, I sure had a few chuckles.)  Warning: some content inappropriate. (Surprise Surprise)

In response to the so-called "Man Laws," I have summoned a close woman friend of mine to help create a list of our own. These laws can still be called Man Laws, but they are the rules that should be followed, if a man ever actually wants to date a girl & be taken seriously.

The Man Laws...REMIX. By Women.

1. Guys are allowed to be close to one another.  Just because you're standing next to each other doesn't mean you're gay. Get over yourselves.  Unless you are making out with/dancing with/dating another guy, we probably don't think you're gay.  If you get really, really angry and defensive when people make "gay" jokes around or about you, then we probably think you are.
   
2. Women find it appealing for a man to be sensitive. Women do not find it appealing for a man to be more sensitive than she is. You can cry, occasionally, because it's human. If you are crying every other day you are obnoxious and we don't want to deal with you. This is not a mutual rule for men & women. A double-standard does exist in this case. Girls are emotional beings. Accept it.
3. If you have a friend that often gets into trouble with the law/has ever been in jail, we probably don't want you hanging out with him. Bail him out if you want, but don't expect us to throw him a Welcome Home party.
4. If you ever go to a strip club, that's between you and the guys. I won't tell you that you cant go- but if you do, spare me the details...oh yeah, and don't expect to get laid when you come home.
5. I didn't go to the game and throw grenades on the field/court or hire a hitman to take out the star player to make your favorite team lose. So don't take it out on me if they do.
6. Flatulation is allowed only if we are in a relationship with you. We still think it's gross, but we realize that it's human and you are, after all, a guy. If you fart while we are "dating" or "hooking up" or "hanging out"....we probably don't want to see you again. (Especially if we've just hooked up.)
7. If we are dating, and you see a fruity drink on a menu you know deep down inside you'd like better than the socially required "big-strong-man-beer," be comfortable enough with your sexuality to order the fruity drink. Granted, if we don't know you and see you at a bar sipping on a Cosmo, Sex and the City-style, we will probably think you're gay... a margarita, however, will probably not give the same impression.  If we are dating you, we know you're not gay. You're not wearing sequins and lipstick, you're drinking a BEVERAGE. 
8. If you are one of those guys at the gym with a blowout, a fake tan, and a too-tight muscle T, do not expect the average woman to ever take you seriously. Do expect, however, for her to laugh in your face when you ask her out whilst flexing. You are not sexy. THIS IS WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.
9. Unless you come to pick us up in a big yellow school bus, we don't really care what you drive.  Don't make it a big deal.  We will never understand, first, your complex about having an "acceptable" vehicle, and second, your inevitable love affair with it.  The only thing you should be calling sexy is us- not a huge hunk of metal with four wheels and an engine attached to it.
10. You shouldn't have to ask us what we want for a birthday, holiday, or anniversary. We will never tell you what we really want. It is your job to figure that out. Also, it's kind of fun.
11. Yelling out things to us while we walk by you such as: "Ay Mami," "Sup shorty," "Hey Sexy," or yelling any type of cat-call will in no way increase your chances of sleeping with us, let alone talking to us. We don't know who taught you that this was a good idea, but they should never be allowed to reproduce. We are never ever going to go up to our girlfriends after being assaulted in this manner and gush over how romantic and dreamy you are. Beeping from your vehicle as we walk past you on the street is also never acceptable. 
12. If you have a date with a girl and decide that you like her, call her.  If you don't like her, DON'T call her. It's that simple.  We are not going to find the nearest ledge to throw ourselves over if we don't hear from you... so if you don't really like a girl, but call her in a week or two anyways, you're probably just creating more problems for yourself (plus it's really f'ing annoying).
13. If we are in a relationship with you, we want and expect to hear from you at least once a day. If we can't get in touch with you for a full 24 hours and you find that you have five missed calls from us it is not because we are needy, miss you, and can't be away from you- We just want to make sure you are alive. Suck it up & give us the courtesy call.
14. You are allowed to adjust yourself in public.  Not because we think this should be allowed, but because we know we can't stop you.  Know, however, that we will always catch you and always be disgusted (and/or mock you).  Self-adjustment is NEVER allowed in certain circumstances (dinner with our parents, for example).  Tend to your business in private... we know you can do it champ.
15. The time it takes you to get ready should never exceed 20 minutes (and that is only when a shower is included).  After that time period, your "man-status" is significantly lowered in 99% of cases.  Hairdryers are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.
16. Never comment on how much or how little a woman eats. Period.
17. A man who cooks well is sexy.  We will be excited if we come home and see you cooking.  If we come home and see you wearing oven mitts, surrounded by freshly-baked cookies, cakes, and pies, we will mock you incessantly.
18. A man who lives with his parents past the age of 25 better have a damn good reason.  I'll do my best to get along with your parents, but I don't want to sleep in the next room over on a regular basis.
19. If you lie to us and/or cheat on us, please expect us to make your life miserable. We will go to great lengths to make sure that happens. Our girlfriends will also go to great lengths to help make sure that happens.
20. Please notice the general correlation between men who never get laid and men who crush beer cans on their foreheads, men who read Harry Potter novels, men who have more "online friends" than actual friends, men who spend 90% of their spare time gaming, men who go tanning, and men who go to dance clubs with other similarly tool-ish men.

Could it be true?

Twitter is becoming a new and dear, dear friend. It tells me news before I watch the news! Because I am a fan of the NFL, I found this newslink on a co-workers Tweet. (Is that the word for a Twitter posting?)

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3953647&campaign=rss&source=ESPNHeadlines

Dallas releasing T.O.? Realllyy? I think not only being a die-hard New England Patriots Fan gives me enough reason to despise T.O., but being human in general who has heard even 2 seconds of Terrell Owens speak gives me enough reason to despise him. Ok buddy, you're good. We get it, we know. No need for the obnoxious big-headed bow-down-to-me ego. You're like a cartoon.

T.O. isn't the only athlete out there who thinks he is God's gift to Earth. There are so many men and women who are doing far better things for people and humanity everywhere- teachers, doctors, scientists, researchers, firefighters, police officers, soldiers, EMTs, social workers... the list goes on and on. They're the ones with the actual gifts, and they're the ones who deserve way more recognition than someone who is a talented wide receiver.

I want to be a part of the media industry... but sometimes I wonder at what point do people look at the news they are reporting and ask themselves; "Why?"

Jess is a mess. Love my mess.

So this is my first blog that I haven't had to do for school. Since, I'm out of school now. My phenomenal internship inspired me to partake in more social media. So, here I am, milking the free website that allows you to blog. And milk, I shall.

I don't want this to only be about media, public relations, communications, etc. blah blah blah because I want everyone who reads it to be interested in what I write about. If everyone was me, they'd be thrilled to see posts about media, public relations, communications, etc. bah blah blah. Everyone's not me. I'm kind of a mess, and so I want to write about a whole mess of things. So I'm asking you all to just love it. LOVE THE MESS. 

In no way do I pretend to ever be something I'm not. I am not a know-it-all. I did not graduate with highest honors. I am not a poser who thinks people should care what she has to say. I am someone who hopes people just take the time to read, and maybe spend some time thinking even for a minute about anything I might mention on here. I am someone just trying to find out what I'm meant to be doing and where I'm going. I'm 22 years old and don't really have a clue. I graduated from a school I hated at first, until I left for a year to try something bigger and what I thought would be better. It turns out I was wrong. I ended up exactly where I belonged- back to where I left, where most people were like me-ordinary. I am clumsy, I say the wrong things sometimes, I make mistakes. But, I am real. I am passionate about the things I care about, and I care about a lot. Writing is something I have been passionate about for a good deal of my life.

Whew, enough with the serious stuff. Don't fall asleep on me. 

Now, so you can understand a little more of what I mean when I call myself a mess...

Messy Jess Story 1:

At a bright 9:00 A.M. on a Saturday morning, Jess falls down a big hardwood staircase whilst trying to make a dramatic exit. Socks on+Bags in hand+Stairs that as God as my witness have been caked in shellac+Pissed off Jess=LARGE LARGE PAINFUL TUMBLE. Almost 5 days later, and my back, ribs, and poor right elbow are still in shambles.

Morals of the story:

• Timing, apparently, is everything.
  
• Never wear socks on hardwood stairs.
  
• Never mix any emotion with traveling down hardwood stairs, in socks.

Yes, as I said before, I'm a mess. You're dealing with it now. Then you'll tolerate it. Then, you'll like it. Then, you'll admire it but won't really have that strong of feelings for the mess because you'll want to convince yourself not to go overboard. It is, afterall, a blog. There are better things in life to love.

But in the end, you'll like my mess.

I already know someone loves it.